Today marks one year since my dad died, just two weeks short of his 97th birthday. He spent nearly two years in a Honolulu nursing home in a long, slow decline marked by Alzheimer’s, dementia, and “failure to thrive,” which I think was simply the weight of all those years. During the year, his sister [...]
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We celebrated my mother’s 97th birthday in Kaaawa last Sunday. She was in good spirits, although when she arrived, she admitted that these days she’s feeling “old.” She is slowing down, and her hearing is bad, but her memory is still pretty sharp. We put some chicken on the grill, added some salad and pickies, [...]
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Reading Susan Jacoby’s Op-Ed in the New York Times this week probably wasn’t the best way to see out the old year (“Real Life Among the Old Old“). “Old old” refers in this case to those over age 85. It still sounds so far away, but perhaps I’m one of those Jacoby writes about who [...]
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My sister and I returned to my father’s nursing home later in the day of his death. Their staff had already taken down the photos of each of our cats that had been on the bulletin board, and put magazines and books, stacked up over the past two years, into a box on the floor [...]
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On Friday morning, when my father’s nursing home called and advised that we come as soon as possible, I was at home in Kaaawa without a car. After dressing and walking quickly down to the bus stop on Kamehameha Highway near the post office, I was a minute too late. The 11:01 a.m. bus slid [...]
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Watching my father dying in slow motion is agony. I can’t believe that there is any human benefit in prolonging his current state of existence. I use that word, “existence”, because “life” isn’t what he has at this point. He has progressed beyond some tipping point, and no longer has those little moments of pleasure. [...]
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My dad’s life story may be nearing an end. He is resting reasonably comfortably, although an occasional moan will emerge as if, somewhere, he’s feeling pain or discomfort. But he really hasn’t been coherent the last couple of days, at least not during the time I’ve spent at his bedside. There are periods where he [...]
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No, that’s not a description of what’s ailing the economy. “Failure to thrive” is my father’s latest official diagnosis, sort of a catch-all when no single medical issue–and he has a bunch–immediately jumps out as the cause of his current decline. He’s dealing with recurring pneumonia, has lost weight, and has started declining meals, eating [...]
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