I found this in a post from back in November 2002, so it’s not new. At that time, I wrote that it had been sent to me by a former Hawaii resident who at that time was in Texas. But it’s ultimate origin is unknown. Nonetheless, it’s quite an accurate portrayal of feline behavior.

Things I have learned about cats

– A 6-pound cat, when stretched out, occupies one-third of a queen-size
bed
– Anything left at floor level, such as a purse, is considered fair game

– It is a waste of time to ask a cat where he put your car keys

– Cats understand the word `no.’ Whether they choose to obey it is
another issue entirely

– Do not leave the lid to the toilet up unless you are prepared to grab the hindquarters of a cat as the front end disappears over the rim.

– No matter how many toys they have, cat No. 2 will want the same toy that cat No. 1 has. Even if there is an identical toy 6 inches away.

-Whenever you decide to clean the litter box will be the exact moment that both cats decide they urgently need to use it.

-Feathers on the front porch are never a good sign.

-You are fooling yourself if you think that removing a cat from the bathroom counter and firmly telling him to stay down will have any appreciable effect on his future behavior.

-Do not leave expensive cheese unguarded on the dining room table while you return to the kitchen for a glass of wine

– If the refrigerator door doesn’t close all the way, there is probably a cat inside.

– If you buy toys that will fit under the living room sofa, you will spend a great deal of time on your stomach with a yardstick in your hand.

-If you leave an article of clothing on the bed, cats will instantly appear and roll on it. If you leave more than one item, they will pick the one that is most expensive and/or most likely to show cat hair.