It’s good to know that my dad’s persistent anxiety focusing on his car isn’t unique. Apparently it’s quite common for people suffering from Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. He often goes through the same refrain.

Where are my keys? I have to go downstairs because I can’t remember where I parked the car. I’m going to get a ticket if I don’t move the car. Do you know where it is? I know I drove it this morning. Where was that? Do you think someone stole it? The’ve been taking my keys.

I got an email a couple of days ago from a woman going through a similar struggle with her father.

My father has been diagnosed with Alzheimers in October. He too was driving up until January and we sold his car last month. He would drive to Ala Moana Center and forget where he parked his car after he walked around the mall. This happened about half a dozen times that I know of. Since last month he has been constantly asking where his car and keys are. When we tell him it was sold he would repeat the same question a few seconds later and just can’t remember. For the past few weeks, he has been writing a list of “stolen items”, i.e., wallet, house phone, car, house key and car keys, etc. Of course they weren’t stolen, my mother has the keys and wallet. Last week he lost his wallet which had his drivers license in it. We still can’t find it and hopefully it’s in the house somewhere.

This week, while waiting to begin a quarterly meeting with the nursing home staff to update us on his condition, I asked whether women also had automobile anxieties.

Kate, the activities director, said women have a different set of anxieties, often relating to taking care of children and the household.

Where was I supposed to pick up the kids? I need to get to the store to shop for dinner. Etc.

So these tell us a whole lot about our culture and our relation to different cultural elements. I’m amazed at how fundamental the car is to my father. I’m guessing I would have a very different worry list. Are all the cats accounted for? I can’t find (fill in a cat’s name). Have you seen my computer? Somebody stole my camera!

Now I’m wondering how dementia’s anxieties express themselves for people who live in less automobile-dependent cultures? Do they obsess about train schedules? Loss of a bicycle? A bit of a cross-cultural and gendered perspective would probably be most interesting and informative.