Category Archives: Writing

The Chemo Chronicles: Learning the limits

July 20, 2026

I’ve described most of the side effects of chemotherapy and immunotherapy drugs that I’ve experienced to date as mild or absent, at least so far after completing a single round of infusions. I feel a bit “fuzzy”, what I’ve described as perhaps 15% short of a sharp focus, along with moments of dizziness if I stand up too quickly, find myself waking up at night, and still have a somewhat depressed appetite.

Recently, though, I discovered a key limitation associated with the chemo.

It took me weeks to finish Monday’s post about former City Council member Trevor Ozawa and his past ties to the late Michael Miske Jr.—a complex investigative piece that normally would have taken a fraction of the time.

To explain requires going back to my “normal” writing routine.

My regular blog or Facebook posts are typically done quickly, usually no more than a day or two between the idea for a post and when it goes up online.

But I take much more care with longer and/or more complicated stories intended for distribution to a wider audience. These might percolate in the background for some time as I gather bits and pieces of information that might be relevant, stashing those details in a folder for future reference, and then begin to shape the form of the story, settling on the major points around which the story will be built. Finally I’ll sit down and write an initial rough draft, followed by several days honing the draft until it’s almost ready to publish.

BC, Before Cancer, I would at some point decide that enough is enough. The final step would be to lock myself and my laptop in our spare bedroom for most of a day to push through a final rewrite and edit.

By the end of a sometimes long and stressful session, I’m usually able to nail the final draft down tight before what used to be wine o’clock.

Writing a post about Candidate Ozawa has been high on my “to do” list for a long time, and I finally moved it to active status a couple of weeks ago. I selected a close-to-final draft more than a week ago. Normally, at this point, I would be ready to shut myself off for a day and wrestle the beast into form for publication.

But now, instead of a single, intensive marathon, I was forced into a relay race with myself—working an hour at a time before my focus evaporated.

So the final edit, usually completed in a day-long editing session, instead took a week of shorter writing sessions.

I wrapped up the final edit after watching the sunrise at Waialae Beach Park Monday morning, then hit publish.

It required coming to terms with the limits imposed by chemo—and, by extension, making adjustments to my own sense of self. This particular shift isn’t hard to accept, but it is a wake-up call. There will be other accommodations down the road as treatment continues.

“Know yourself,” the old adage says. I’m learning.

All that remains is an empty lot

Back in early 1994, I wrote one of the most interesting stories of my career with the old Honolulu Star-Bulletin. It described an abandoned view home on an acre of land at the top of Ahuimanu that had fallen into ruin, its owner missing for years, and anyone with a potential legal claim to the property disclaiming any interest.

The kids in the neighborhood called it the haunted house of Ahuimanu.

I learned about the situation from a friend who lived nearby and had tried to make an offer to buy the property, going to great lengths in an attempt to find the recorded owner, or someone able to make a deal on his behalf. He quickly hit a dead end. The owner, a local man about 45, had purchased the house via an agreement of sale which had never been finally paid off. The seller, then living in Australia, declined to get involved, saying there were family friends involved.

After several interviews and spending time digging through public records, I drove up to look at the place myself.

I can vividly remember the moment I hopped a fence and entered the property, now more than 30 years ago. I have photos somewhere. The problem is finding them. That’s for another day.

But I sat down immediately afterwards and jotted down my impressions, and found them in an old archived computer file.

Visited Jan 26, 1994.

Low wrought iron gate. Now wired shut. Chicken wire laid across a surrounding rock wall, now intertwined with plants and shrubs.

Tall grasses are growing on the roof, where trees have also sprouted and grown 10-15 feet tall.

The garage is burned out. On the right as you approach from the street is the rusted and stripped hulk of an MG convertible sports car, license plate intact. On the left and to the rear of the garage is a mound of rubble. Car parts, old beer cans, etc.

A hose is coiled up, but now burned. At the entrance to the garage is another hose, this one looking new and bright green. [A clue–if unused as long as the house, it would not look like this, and it would be overgrown.]

You exit the garage though a door at the right rear. To the right is a door into the former kitchen. It is trashed. Everything inside is charred black, burned in at least two prior fires. Inside the door are the remains of a burned-out washer-dryer set, surrounded by mounds of newspapers, charred, partly burned, now matted down into paper mache.

Straight out the back of the garage is the pool, which sits at the open end of a U-shaped courtyard formed by the house. The pool is covered with a thick layer of green algae. A frog, or something, jumps back into the water.

To the left of the pool are the remains of a wooden bridge that extended across a small stream to the back yard, a field that probably takes up most of the acre of land. The bridge is now collapsed, wood rotted.

Back inside: newspapers stewn throughout are dated 1976 through 1980. I don’t see any beyond that date.

In the living room: large openings across the entire far wall where formerly picture windows were. A beautiful view. Standing at the window openings, you view right across to Kualoa Point and Mokolii.

A stone fireplace and chimney are built-in to the left of the windows.

On the other side of the room, there are the burned out remains of what appears to be a baby grand piano. Top layer is a metal frame, with the sets of wires showing.

On the left of the living room, facing the windows, is a door that goes over to the bedrooms.

At the doorway, another pile of papers. Among them, one set of partly burned papers appear to be part of a book.

I pick up the top page, and print jumps out: “Such is the forgotten man.”

Chicken skin.

I even paid a private investigator to do a basic records check. They found nothing.

No credit history in the owner’s name in any of the credit bureaus.

No drivers license.

No vehicle registration.

A nationwide search of drivers licenses turned up nothing during the last five years.

No criminal records, nothing, either as victim or complainant.

No missing person report.

His family said they had no information about his whereabouts.

But while writing this, I did another online search, and “Find a Grave” came up with new information.

It seems that the owner died in Honolulu in August 2012, 18 years after my story was published.

Court records confirm that he died intestate, without a will. His sister was appointed the personal representative of the estate, which owed no estate taxes.

Real estate records show the agreement of sale was cancelled after his death, and title went back to the former wife of the original seller, who had since also died.

The lot remains empty, according to city records. The last entry was a permit for demolition in March 1995, which listed the City & County of Honolulu as owner. Value of the job was reported as $9,800.

End of story, for now. I’ll have to look at the probate court file to see if there’s any information about the quiet death of this forgotten man.

Read the original story (“Mystery shrouds this old house“) and a folo story published a year later after the city bulldozed the site.

Bear with me….

I’m feeling guilty about failing to post anything substantive for several days. It’s not for lack of trying.

I’m still trying to track, report, and explain details of the remaining bits and pieces of the Miske case. Some may have interest on their own, others reflect back and help interpret what’s come before.

But when I sit down to write what should be a straightforward post describing a recent development in the case, I find myself involuntarily adding context and detail based on prior disclosures and the hundreds or thousands of case documents I’ve gathered over the years. Interesting stuff, but then the writing bogs down as I try to pry the recent happenings from the unnecessarily added details. But what details are “unnecessary?” What are useful additions to help explain the events? I’m proceeding by trial and error, and have a bunch of false starts to show for it, definitely not efficient, but the best I’ve come up with for now.

And then there’s another issue. What’s “the story” in these recent sub-plots? Are they primarily of interest in themselves, or because there’s something new that they reveal about Miske or his organization? I’ve tripped over this several times recently as I trying to push a couple of these stories out as blog posts.

Here’s one of the things I’ve tripped over. Miske knew that he had a daughter, a bit younger than his late son, Caleb. Different mothers. I don’t recall seeing any mention of her or her mother in any prior Miske proceedings. She’s a Kaneohe woman raised by her mom and stepfather. I’m not going to use her name here because it’s not clear if she had any knowledge of the criminal activities of her biological father. It appears that Miske made an error in reporting the year she was born. If so, what does that show? Was he trying to conceal her identity, or did he have so little contact that he kind of guessed at the year? I don’t know. But it’s clear that her story would be interesting to hear.

In any case, I’ll try to take a bite-size piece out of these various bits and pieces and get it posted soon.

And so it goes on a cloudy Wednesday morning in Kahala.

Stay tuned.

Spoiler alert–My comments on the latest novel by Michael Connelly

Fair warning. If you’re looking forward to reading Michael Connelly’s latest, “Resurrection Walk,” done read further. You can return and read my rant later, after you’ve finished the book.

If you’re read it already, or don’t plan on reading it but just want to see what I’m ticked off about, then feel free to continue.

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