Remembering my mother on Mother’s Day

This is a repost from another Mother’s Day several years ago.

This was a year that would have created problems for us.

Mother’s Day on May 10. My mom’s birthday on May 15. The problem was that we lived across the island and had busy professional lives in town. Two separate celebrations in the same week was hard for us to fit in, but the background guilt of letting one of these occasions go unrecognized was also hard to cope with. I recall that we ended up with one event, lunch or dinner, but with presents attributed to both occasions.

That seemed to work relatively well.

Musing about my mother….

I wasn’t home schooled, but I was definitely home educated by my mother, Helen Yonge Lind.

She encouraged me to read, and helped me break the rules when the librarian at the Kaimuki Library said I was too young to venture into the adult book section.

She also gave me the best single piece of advice ever, which I later found applicable far beyond its original context.

When she finally got tired of my endless questions how to make this or that in her tiny kitchen, she finally told me: “If you can read, you can cook.”

And then she shared her cookbook, a small three-ring binder with recipes carefully typed, then revised with handwritten notes based on experience, changing quality of ingredients, etc.

Now I could look recipes up myself.

“If you can read, you can cook.”

Sage advice.

I’ve later applied that in many other areas of life. Reading is a core skill. Master it. Love it. You’ll go a long way.

This photo was taken on the back steps from the living room of my parent’s house in Kahala, leading down onto the lanai and the back yard. It’s a scene that no longer exists, because when we renovated the old house after her death, we built a back deck at the same level as the house, rather than a lanai at ground level.

In any case, I can still remember this scene, repeated many times, the anticipation when turning the crank on the little music box and waiting for the punch line, “Pop! Goes the weasel!” Somehow knowing how it was going to end didn’t take away from the pleasure I got from it each and every time.

My mother died at the end of January 2013, a few months short of her 99th birthday.

Holding it together

I was still at home in the midst of last-minute packing for this extended post-surgery stay in California when I made an unwelcome discovery.

It was a surprise to find that my weight loss over the previous two months has rendered by belt ineffective in holding up my pants! I guess that I’ve been compensating by constantly hitching my pants up to avoid losing them.

What to do? It was too late to buy another belt. If necessary, I was sure that I could make it to SF where the search for a new belt could begin.

But at some point I opened a drawer to grab a few pairs of socks.

Surprise! There was a mold-covered length of brown leather that I recognized as a well-worn belt I had “outgrown” quite a number of years ago. Exactly what I needed, a belt that previously fit a less robust Ian.

So I slowly wiped off the mold. Then I applied two different leather cleaner/conditioners found stuck away in a couple of those “toss everything in” drawers. Let the conditioner soak in, then polished a couple of times. The leather slowly began to recover from the years of neglect up on a high shelf in our closet where the mold had found it.

And, bingo! A belt that fits. A bit worse for wear, as I am, but rescued from somewhere deep in my past and ready to resume its duties!

An Aloha Feline Friday

The cats are making a special appearance this morning, carefully set up to appear online on Friday morning, although Meda and I were scheduled to arrive in San Franisco the day before.

This is my favorite of the week. It’s a scene played out daily as dinner is served! I usually split a small can of Fancy Feast grilled cat food among the four cats. It’s just a taste, not a full meal, but followed with a scoop of TD Dental Diet dry food for each of them.

In this photo, you see Kali, Bessie, and Kinikini licking their dishes clean, while Kiko has already exited the scene, with just her rear end visible leaps to the floor.

It is about the only time all the cats gather in one place.

Yes, I know. A good friend was here on a recent night and announced that her cat would NEVER be on the counter. “It’s not allowed,” she said.

We know all the arguments. But we lost that battle nearly 57 years ago when our first pair of indoor cats defeated our counter-top defenses and asserted their right to these exposed territories. And that’s the way it’s been since. Agree or disagree, it doesn’t matter. That’s just the way it is.

And enjoy the rest of the photos below! It will be a while before I’m able to most new photos of the cats, as we’ll be away from home what what could be a couple of months.

Feline Friday: May 8, 2026