The state of Hawaii is a step closer to recognizing a person’s right to die in a dignified manner after a bill providing for medical aid in dying was sent to the full House for a vote following a lengthy public hearing on Tuesday.
HB2739 was amended in committee before being forwarded on for a vote. You can read the original and amended bills, and browse the written testimony received, via that link.
If you aren’t sure, I’ll be clear–I’m a strong advocate of being able to control the way we die. We’ve gotten close in the legislature before, but came up short. This year, the bill has the support of the governor and key legislators. I’m hopeful the will be the year it will finally be adopted and become law.
In honor of this occasion, I’m reprinting a Civil Beat column I wrote just after my mother’s death at the beginning of 2013.
Honor The Dying By Letting Them Go
We can do better for our loved ones than a lingering death by natural means.
/ January 31, 2013My mother died this week, just months before her 99th birthday.
She enjoyed a long and rich life. At the end, she was fortunate to have wonderful care in a small, residential hospice facility in the back of Palolo Valley.
But here’s the rub. If you are not fortunate enough to have one of those unexpected and quick “now-you’re’-here-and-now-you’re-not” exits, then dying is hard to do, even with the best of care. It is hard, exhausting work for the person who is dying, and excruciatingly difficult for family and friends who can’t do more than stand by while the process wends towards its inevitable conclusion.
My mother followed all the best advice well in advance. She prepared a legal medical directive making perfectly clear that if something unexpected happened, she did not want to be kept alive through extraordinary medical means. She had seen enough to know she did not want to live if permanently disabled, in pain, or otherwise unable to take care of herself and enjoy life’s simple pleasures.
Last year, as her overall health and mobility began to decline, she qualified to receive hospice support and services while continuing to live in the home where she had already spent 70 years.
In recent months her life became more and more constrained as the process of dying moved inexorably forward. My mother went through common stages described to us in advance by hospice staff — eating and drinking progressively less and less until half a piece of toast and a couple of orange slices were all she could handle, and gradually sleeping more and more until the majority of her days were spent in bed.It was clear where this was heading. She had already prepared by organizing her personal and financial information, sorting through personal possessions, giving some things away, discarding others. She made lists instructing us on what to do and who to contact after she died. She drafted her own obituary in what was still a strong hand.
Then, as happens all too often, a relatively minor fall triggered cascading medical problems. A second fall led to an emergency room visit and, finally, admission into the hospice home in Palolo where she spent her final days. Despite the best possible hospice care and availability of pain control medication, such endings are not easy. And the end of her life was no different.
For the last two weeks, she had virtually nothing to eat or drink although, in one of her final partly coherent moments, she told us she was not hungry or thirsty. This may have been the result of the body’s natural process of shutting down but, in her case, I think it was also partly volitional.
According to hospice literature, it is not unusual for dying patients to voluntarily stop eating and drinking as a way to hasten death. It’s one of the last choices that can be made by a frail, elderly person who no longer enjoys a quality life. I think it’s the choice my mother made in the absence of other alternatives.But is a lingering death by natural means really the best we can offer?
As devoted pet owners, we know there’s a point where an ailing cat or dog in the wild would find a dark place to hide and simply wait to die. When one of our cats reaches that point, we know further efforts to prolong their lives are only temporary, and more for our own benefit than theirs because we aren’t ready to say goodbye. And so, as difficult as it is, we ask our vet to painlessly end their suffering. We say our long goodbye, then tearfully share their final moments.
Don’t people deserve a similar option, a quick, painless, medically assisted exit when death is inevitable?
I have come away from my mother’s death this week, and my dad’s passing two years ago, an even stronger supporter of so-called “death with dignity” laws broad enough to give all of us a clear, legally recognized right to control when, and under what circumstances, we wish to leave this life, and to do so as comfortably and painlessly as possible.
